And when you believe that — really believe that in your mind, body and spirit, the things you choose in life breathe that in and exude it in all of our nano-cells.
It becomes a guiding force for love. And the most important– our own love to ourselves.
I realized recently that I believed no one ever loved me quite the way I wanted to be loved. That’s a thought that tucked itself way deep down inside me and whacked me on the side of the head when it surfaced.
And I brought that thought and belief into every relationship. And so the cycle of not-quite-what-I-need played out in a circle of frustration and having the same “disagreement” over and over again.
And then it dawned on me– the way the obvious is so obvious except to ourselves. That I could love me the way I wanted to be loved. And that mattered. And that could fill me up and sustain me when I need a hug, when I need encouragement, when I need attention, when I want forgiveness and soft spots to nestle inside of. It wasn’t outside of me– it wasn’t dependent on something or someone else.
That the love I wanted– that I searched for— I was capable of giving wholeheartedly to me and that was enough.
It’s so much easier to blame others for our own suffering. That they didn’t do what we needed— that they did something to make us feel unloved. But in truth, when you go inward, you find that it’s never about the others.
Letting go of that belief left a big open space– for me.
I learned to be brave enough to hang out with me. Find out what mattered to me. Defined what it meant for me to feel loved.
I came up with some crazy ways to make that happen– that are all on me to do. And yes, a dance jam in the kitchen with Dr. Pepper is included in my on my love list! (just in case you were wondering).
Today– I want you to know — you matter.