What does it mean to be you? In this moment? In this lifetime? In the various roles we play? From your soul?
How do we even begin to answer this question?
For years, I was the opposite of authentic. I smiled when I wanted to cry. I laughed on cue in social situations that made me cringe on the inside. I let anger seep into the muscles of my body instead of feeling into it.
I got lost in playing in the world of social acceptance. So much so that I compromised my integrity– hid my vulnerability and for sure tried to cover transparency with social graces.
The more I did so, the larger my physical being grew. Somewhere under there, I believed I needed a physical barrier to protect me from a dangerous world. A world I believed would reject me. A world that would not understand who I really am.
I pretended my way through social engagements and friendships (the kind where you never really reveal anything), and all sorts of other random social encounters – the list was endless.
And this disconnection cost me. My marriage unraveled, my finances shattered, my health deteriorated, my sense of self felt like a whisper of a shadow in a dark hallway covered in spidery webs.
As crazy as this sounds, this was all perfect for me. My life crashing around me challenged me to wake up and ask those questions.
My personal tipping point was knowing that this charade was more painful and more scary to be stuck in than the uncertainty of letting myself be me.
I realized that authenticity (as scary as my social self believed it to be) was freedom.
My life today asks of the same. Why am I doing “this”? Does this truly align with who I am and how I want to show up on the planet?
I want to know — what questions do you ask yourself? How do you know if you are cultivating your authenticity or undermining it?
Ask yourself. In a journal. On a walk. With a trusted friend.
You are brave enough to hear the answers. And even braver to follow your own wisdom as it nudges you out over the edge.
We are here in this moment – to shine our magnificent, brilliant selves. As George Eliot says “it’s never too late to be who we might have been”.
I’m here standing with you— show us your you– in all its vulnerable beauty.
The world is ready.
With love,
Stacey