Years ago, I found myself really successful in my work. I made good money and the work I did mattered — but there was something amiss. I felt this out-of-sorts feeling that wouldn’t go away— like a nudge that didn’t make any sense given that I was pretty happy.
During my annual two week holiday I went on amazing trips and pampered myself with things I loved like spa days, farm-to-table dinners, and hikes across mountainsides in the beauty of Mother Nature.
I was enjoying my full life, ever-shifting workload, and a blossoming relationship after my divorce.
My interest in travel and having amazing new adventures led me to a life coach who offered lavish retreats to places like the Amalfi Coast.
After months of fan-girling her social media, I noticed she was hosting an extravagant dinner party to kick off the new year. It was going to be held in Atlanta, not too far of a trip for me in Baltimore.
I immediately bought myself a ticket and then completely freaked out about making such an impulsive decision.
I wasn’t one to travel alone – and all the nagging thoughts like “what if you get lost?”, “what if you don’t fit in?” and “this is probably too fancy for people like me” screamed at me inside my head for weeks.
But there was something in me going even with all these fears that I couldn’t shake.
So I booked my plane ticket, secured a special hotel room and started to simultaneously panic and get excited over what I just decided to do.
The day finally arrived for me to fly to Atlanta, get dressed (what does one wear to an event where you don’t really know what it’s going to be like?!) and walk over to the restaurant where the party was about to get started.
All of a sudden, I found myself in a room of about 30 women, mostly life coaches (which at the time I didn’t really know what a life coach was). These women exuded a different type of energy than I was used to being around – confident, friendly, unapologetically bold.
It was a Sally-Met-Harry kind of moment for me. I wanted in to this seemingly secret society of empowered women..
The first thing we were asked to do before the dinner began was to get up in front of the group, introduce ourselves and tell the party why we were here.
As I looked around at all these strangers, many of whom knew each other– I felt at odds with my typical extroverted ease that usually felt comfortable in these moments.
Someone handed me the microphone and suddenly I paused, awkward and stumbling. “Why was I here?”— I could vaguely touch the reason but I was having a hard time putting words to this nagging feeling that there was something else out there for me.
After what felt like 5 minutes (I’m sure it was less than 30 seconds) I stammered out:
“I have a pretty good life. I’ve rebuilt so many things since my divorce and yet I’m still not quite as happy as I see all of you. I don’t have anything to complain about – I think a part of me could go on this way for the rest of my life. And yet, there is a part of me that keeps quietly nudging me— that knows there’s something way better out there for me if I’m willing to go past my comfort zone”.
That took me a bit by surprise. The uncensored truth to a group of people who didn’t know me – there’s liberation in such a moment.
As much as what I said felt true, I also had no idea what the ‘something’ was.
A few minutes later when we were all eating our salads and introducing ourselves to each other— a woman from another table hopped over and sat next to me.
She introduced herself and then said “I have a question for you”.
I nodded and she asked “if you could do anything you wanted– anything at all, without any negative consequences, what would it be?”.
Hmmm. That’s a big ask and before I could think—- I blurted out “I’d go to life coach school”.
She sat back in her chair and a slow grin spread across her face.
She looks me straight in the eye and says “do it”.
I felt it immediately— permission. Not that she gave me– but rather what she helped me access within myself.
To follow a nudge that made no sense at the time.
After having an incredibly inspired evening, I got back on the plane home and within a week had signed up for a life coaching program.
I didn’t realize at that time how pivotal a moment that was for me. To honor a feeling that came from deep within, without understanding exactly where it was leading me.
It was one of the best things I ever did– amidst the fears and uncertainties– and it would take me places I had no idea of yet including a trip to the Amalfi Coast (a year and a half later).
PS. You may be reading this right now– thinking “I’ve got a pretty good life” while also feeling that there’s something more for you out there too.
If this sounds like you– that nudge you aren’t quite sure what to do with—- I’d love to explore whether you are a good fit for my Leap of Faith program. A program designed to help you follow those nudges, explore your calling and step into the truth that it’s okay to know you are meant for something more than what you’ve already created. None of these feelings mean you aren’t grateful or that you haven’t already done some amazing things in this world– those nudges are here to remind you to keep going.