About a week and a half ago, I was walking down one of my familiar trail paths. I am constantly surveying the taller grassier spots for snakes– I am scared to death to startle one. My biggest fear is that I have no idea how they will react (yes, this provides a HUGE metaphor for other places in my life right now too).
I put my body in high alert– adrenaline surging at the whisper of a leaf moving under my feet. I won’t lie– Dr. P has been witness to a false alarm shriek or two (ok, ok— maybe 5).
While I was walking and snake-patroling on that particular morning, it struck me. All of the changing, shedding and molting that I’ve been doing lately feels just like what I think a snake experiences as they shed their too small body for something a bit roomier and much more comfortable.
Yet, I’d venture to say (without rushing to Google to verify) that the new skin probably doesn’t feel like a perfect fit instantly. That the space between growing out of the old one and owning the new one asks for some flexibility and adjustment.
So many of my old stories, my old hurts, and my most limiting fears are growing too small for me. They hurt me to say them anymore– not because of any pain– but because they don’t feel true to even repeat.
Their comfortable skin of protection around my heart now feels disingenuous. It feels tight and constricting.
My new skins accepts that I may not know what is going to cross my path next and that’s ok. That I can trust myself and live into my soul’s journey in ways that allow my magnificence to be seen & heard in the world.
And yes, this still doesn’t always feel quite right– but going backwards doesn’t either.
So for now, I’m going to stay in this in-between. The two steps forward, one step back discomfort of growth and change. Knowing that on the other side of this awkward place I find myself in will be something that fits so much better.
Here’s to all of us navigating all of the growing, shedding and transforming that our lives ask of us. Sometimes we do it more willingly than others. But, I promise the new skin is SO worth it!
Your magnificence is waiting for its stage my lovelies.
Total interesting fact & confession— I started writing this article last week but it didn’t quite come together the way I wanted. Friday afternoon, on a walk with Dr. P, I come across both this snake and its skin– if this isn’t the universe winking at me, I don’t know what a sign is!!!