Today I started the Whole30 cleanse. Not because it is a regimented way to eat but because I use sugar for lots of other reasons that are not related to being hungry or flirting with it as a foodie pleasure.
I know that sugar has been found in some studies to be way more addictive than cocaine. And so I believe the best choice for me to get clean about my choices is to detox it out of my system so I can then choose when I put it back in and how.
For me, it’s sugar. For others, it’s a glass (or two or three) of wine. It’s shopping. It’s Facebook. It’s scheduling another something to avoid the downtime. It’s an affair. It’s anything we use to distract us from feeling – especially the feelings like anger, hurt, sadness that we don’t know what to do with.
My habit goes back deep into my childhood. Because of my lifelong hitch to diets and restrictions, I internalized that pleasure (especially from food) is for other people– not for me. And so it’s secret and maybe a bit shameful too. And yet, I went to sugar to help ease the pain of feeling rejected. Of feeling “anything” that I thought I couldn’t handle. To sweeten my life when it felt anything but sweet.
Instead, I made the focus my weight struggle and wasted a lot of my own time and energy fighting myself.
This never worked. How could it?
Peace. Self love. Compassion. Forgiveness. Vulnerability. Truth.
A better formula.
P.S. I still have a few spots for my next BARE class— let me know if you are interested in declaring defeat on the war inside our heads and ready to let the real fun begin. Contact me for the sweet (pun intended!) details!!